Morbid

I would, under normal circumstances, begin with an apology for not posting for so long. Since no one reads this anyway, I guess it doesn't really matter and is more a sort of protocol with me.

These, however, are not normal circumstances.

As far as I can tell, nothing about college is normal.
--

The point of this post is to write about where I would spread my ashes. I know that I am going to be cremated, because it is a Hindu tradition/ritual/part of the death rites. Besides the religious aspect, however, I'd like to be cremated because it is the most sanitary form of death. When people bury the dead six feet into the ground it makes me think of how awful it is for the earth; the coffins don't disintegrate for years upon years, and I mean really, digging holes into the ground? There are 6.5 billion people in the world. I really don't think there are enough holes in the ground for all of us, and I, personally, do not want to "bunk" with someone else into the afterlife. Anyway, I think cremation is just more sanitary when it comes to people who had a disease. How much would it suck to get pneumonia after burying someone? Damn.

I wouldn't want my ashes to be cooped up in an urn, though. I'd rather have them floating about somewhere, part of the dust that travels the earth. Although this, too, is pretty weird, think about how much dust there is in the world. Dust is 99% dead skin cells. That's disgusting. I don't want to think about it. I'd rather have my ashes scattered in a remote place so that I'm not being vacuumed up in someone's house, you know what I mean?

I tried to decide on a place where I would most like to have my ashes scattered, and I think I'd really like them to be scattered from a) the Cape of Good Hope or b)off this cliff that overlooks the Pacific on a beach in Australia (we visited it when we went on a family vacation to stay with my mom's brother). The reason I would like to be flung to the wind from one of these two places is because they are, quite frankly, some of the most beautiful places in the world. I don't want to ruin or deface these places, I just want the people scattering my ashes to see them. A once in a lifetime opportunity: see a spectacular sight and say goodbye to an _________ (old friend, enemy, etc.).

I hope other people give this some thought. It makes me angry when people banter about the phrase "It's what s/he would have wanted." IS IT? Did said person tell you that? People who don't prepare for the aftermath of their death are somewhat selfish, I think. Your dying is just a natural progression in the cycle of life. It's what happens after your death that matters, I think. When I die I would hope that someone would know exactly what to do. Maybe I ought to leave written instructions, and that may make me either highly uptight and creepy trying to control things from the grave (not literally, as we've just discussed) or make me an innovative and caring person.

And atop the cliff or large boulder at my choice for scattering, I hope someone has a boombox and plays... (I have two choices here: I could go with something funny, like "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred, and make it like "I'm too sexy... for this life" or I could be half-way serious and choose "Colors of the Wind" from the Pocohantas soundtrack, or fully serious and say a song that I've always loved about a non-resident Indian going back to his homeland)

I guess that's up to the person who scatters my ashes. Here's to hoping it's not Kelly Clarkson!